Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize