There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize