Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
