Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize