well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
