The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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