Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
