Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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