She's JV to your varsity
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
