Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
