We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize