Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Are we still banned from the library?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
