Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize