your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
