I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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