Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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