Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
