I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
