who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
this will be a night to untag.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
