You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
