john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
