The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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