i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
