Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
