so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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