The maid of honor just puked.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
