sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
