If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
