life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just had sex on a roof
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
