I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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