Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
