where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize