Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
