Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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