I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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