I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up under a house in Key West
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