i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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