I showed him my bush... on skype.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
