In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize