Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
