I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
