Who did Billy Mays play for?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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