Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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