Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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