Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
