Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
