OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
