and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
