Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
