We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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