She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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