YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
