I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
