i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
