New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
