it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
