How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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