How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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