My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
