GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
