I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
