woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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