there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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