I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
