pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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