I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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