Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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