Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
