I bet he comes in French.
My hand turned me down
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
